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Babies are adorable, everyone wants to meet them and have a cuddle, then they turn into toddlers. are great fun, they view the world so differently, and we can learn a lot from them. However, there are times when their communication methods are hard to accept. hitting, biting, screaming and kicking can lead even the most patient of parents to the brink. It is normal to go through a phase where you don’t want to take your toddler anywhere because you are unsure as to how they will behave.
Hitting: Why Do They Do It?
There are so many theories about toddlers, and hitting is one which is covered a lot. At the end of the day, the best way to find out why your toddler is hitting is to look at the circumstances in which they are doing it. hitting is a means of communication, but not an acceptable one. You may not be able to control your hitting, but if you can predict it you can control the environment and start to change the way he/she deals with these situations.
Analysing Your Hitting.
Most behaviour is based around two basic areas; attention and emotion. If your hitting is attention related, it can be either to get your attention, or the person they are hitting. If your toddler waits for you to look at them and they hit another child, it is probably safe to assume that they are after your attention. If they simply walk up and hit another child regardless of your attention, it is probably the other childs attention which they want and their hit is a sort of way of saying “I’m here, play with me”. hitting can also be representative of emotions such as anger and exhaustion. see the world differently from us and they can apply their anger to objects and people without seeing any difference. If they want a toy which another child is playing with it is quite possible that they will be angry with both the child and the toy. It is best to assume that the emotion is directed at the object or person who is most crucial to the play.
Dealing With Hitting
What you say to your toddler when they hit is important for two reasons. Other parents will need to see you deal with the situation, this is not to judge you, but because their children cannot see another child ‘get away’ with bad behaviour as it will undermine their authority. Secondly, you want to start to create consequences and language which as your toddler grows, he will understand. You do not need your toddler to understand all the words you use, you just need them to recognize the situation in which they are used.
Finally, it is worth remembering that ‘no’ is a very aggressive word and if shouted at a toddler they may get scared. For this reason a firm voice saying ‘we don’t hit’ will be more effective and will help you as a parent to control your own emotions. When you say this to your toddler, it is essential to be on their level, respond better when they have eye contact, and this eye contact will distract the toddler from the situation which was the original problem.
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