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The Joys Of Temper Tantrums In Young Children
Temper tantrums in young children are an unfortunate fact of life. Some parents will not have to suffer these, but many will. I believe that there is a justice in the world and to any of those parents who don’t understand (because they have never been there) don’t be judgmental, this should never be a judgment of the parents. If temper tantrums in young children is alien to you, then you will in turn get your own difficulties, it is not that you are a better parent, it is just that your child doesn’t do this, but rest assured, they will find something else to wind you up!
Coping With Temper Tantrums In Young Children
It is difficult; your child has just lain on the floor and alerted an entire shopping centre to your presence, it is understandable that you want a hole in the ground to swallow you up. You need to find a way to stay calm. If you start to loose your cool, you will be a nervous wreck before your child has even started school! All the advice is ‘don’t react’, this is very hard to do when you feel that every set of eyes are on you and your offspring. I don’t know if you have ever tried it, but a sympathetic look is even hard to communicate at times like this. You need to find some way to not let temper tantrums in young children get to you. Perhaps you could carry a magazine or paperback in your bag, and when you child kicks off you can stand back and get your book out – this will really irritate your child, but it will give you something to at least pretend to concentrate on when you are desperate. Another option, is for you to make eye contact with anyone who does offer a sympathetic look and engage them in a conversation. If they truly understand, they will stand with you as long as they can and will understand how important your conversation is at that time. Finally, temper tantrums in young children can drive you to drink, but when you have survived one, there is nothing wrong with rewarding yourself with a glass of wine, or a Danish pastry, whatever you weakness, you have earned it.
Why Do We Need To Endure Temper Tantrums In Young Children?
Life is full of conflict and temper tantrums in young children is a way of communicating. This is their way of saying ‘not now, I don’t want to participate’. Anyone who has worked in the corporate world will know the feeling of wanting to jump up and down in your boss's office and say ‘you are wrong and I am right’. Sometimes it is so obvious to us that something is wrong, but as adults we learn to let others make their mistakes or to find a way to communicate our opinions. When you see temper tantrums in young children in shops are they really saying ‘please take me home, give me a cuddle and a biscuit, I’m tired!!!!’
How To Help The Parent Suffering Temper Tantrums In Young Children.
I was at a playgroup recently, and there was a pregnant mother who was trying to talk to her child who was throwing a spectacular tantrum. I had met her quite a few times in parks and playgroups, but did not know her as a friend. I was somewhat distracted by my own children and had barely noticed the incident, until a rather ‘know-all’ mother said to me ‘why doesn’t she just leave that child alone and let him get on with it?’ It was at this point that I realized that she couldn’t walk away, because she had no where to walk to. I wandered up and made some comment like ‘pity they don’t sell whisky hot toddies here’. I then talked to her for about ten minutes, during this time, she was distracted from her son and as he calmed down I ended the conversation with a comment like ‘better go and see if my son is killing anyone while my back is turned.’ I am no saint and certainly not a perfect parent, but somehow it all worked. Coping with temper tantrums in young children is about survival, in this instance, the mother survived because she had a conversation to hide behind, and her son realized that he was not even getting her attention and gave up. Equally, I did not talk to her from pity and I hope that she realized that my child may not be having a tantrum, but he was certainly capable of embarrassing and stressing me!
If you know anyone who has to suffer temper tantrums in young children, be supportive, offer distraction to the parent – ignore the child, this is about parents coping, the children will be fine.
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